A few months ago I got around to contacting Bexley Council,a place I slightly miss given that I am surrounded by farms and cows most of the time; that's not the problem, its that the land is so flat here.
I was inquiring about dead nuns! The council gave me locations for my convent's founder and headmistress plus names I had not heard of before.
On Tuesday 7th August I returned to Kent first to look at my old naval college and discuss with the locals about filming part of the Hollywood scripted film I'm directing and working out the blocking with one of my fellow lead actor's in the film, as Shakespeare wrote that we have a fight and we were planning out how we were going to do it.
Then on Wednesday after going back to Greenhithe to discuss further matters, it was off to Sidcup to meet another former St Joseph's pupil and for us to go and look at Sr. Theresa.
Barry Wright was already at Sidcup train station, as I had gone on the Bexleyheath line from Gtreenhithe before realising my mistake. We have been in touch for a few years with me sending him photos of the convent. He has very fond memories of St Joseph's and of being in Sr. Theresa's Form V class
Friday, 28 September 2018
Thursday, 6 September 2018
Psychological crashing more frequently
In the 8 and a half years since my sister's murder I have experienced fairly regular surges of psychological and more frequently physical symptoms; the latter being a daily occurrence for extended periods. Meanwhile the underlying symptoms are there continuously in the background, or often less so in the background.
This year has not improved and recently there have been 2 periods of physical and some psychological symptoms without any precursors or anniversaries to aggravate the underlying condition.
For the last 3 weeks, out of nowhere, the sudden physical symptoms and disorientation psychologically have been present everyday to varying degrees.One of the effects while I try to function is a complete loss of interest in the Hollywood promo project. Haven't been able to do much as it is due to the symptoms, but no matter how hard I try I could not find any interest in working or proceeding with the project, only now I am beginning to battle through it.
This year has not improved and recently there have been 2 periods of physical and some psychological symptoms without any precursors or anniversaries to aggravate the underlying condition.
For the last 3 weeks, out of nowhere, the sudden physical symptoms and disorientation psychologically have been present everyday to varying degrees.One of the effects while I try to function is a complete loss of interest in the Hollywood promo project. Haven't been able to do much as it is due to the symptoms, but no matter how hard I try I could not find any interest in working or proceeding with the project, only now I am beginning to battle through it.
Monday, 20 August 2018
Back to the Naval College
IMDB has the wrong year as my birth. If it was that year I would not have attended the naval college in Greenhithe as that closed a year after St Joseph's Convent. When I was there 87-88 the place was spiraling straight towards closure. We were threatened with immediate expulsion if we entered the shamefully neglected and dilapidated Ingress Abbey which stood next to my halls of residence.
Surrounded by corrugated sheeting this rather impressive manor house of Gothic and Moorish influences did not look the place that had stood opposite Queen Victoria entertaining the Shah of Persia and others in order to gain influence by seducing them with the then beauty of Greenhithe.
Best thing that happened to Ingress was my college closing in 1989! Property developers then moved in who have subsequently got a little megalomaniacal but they repaired the Abbey albeit in a generic style not befitting its former granduer.
Luckily a geological engineer and his wife, a singer, purchased Ingress Abbey and have made great improvements in restoring the house to its nineteenth century condition. When I was in the Abbey with classmates and not giving a damn about threats of expulsion, the place was such a mess that I turned back after banging my head a few times in the near dark. The others ventured further to what could be called a 'ballroom' actually simply a very large lounge on the first floor with moldings on the wall, or in 1987: no floor and mould on the moldings.
A couple of weeks ago I returned to Ingress to tell them about the college and what the place used to be like, about to fall down in parts. Ingress Abbey is now impressive, there is a memorial to the naval college & the squadron, however it focuses on the Worcester and not the other ships or the earlier ship that was part of the college that fought at the Battle of the Nile as demonstrated by the college's Roll of Honour.
Surrounded by corrugated sheeting this rather impressive manor house of Gothic and Moorish influences did not look the place that had stood opposite Queen Victoria entertaining the Shah of Persia and others in order to gain influence by seducing them with the then beauty of Greenhithe.
Best thing that happened to Ingress was my college closing in 1989! Property developers then moved in who have subsequently got a little megalomaniacal but they repaired the Abbey albeit in a generic style not befitting its former granduer.
Luckily a geological engineer and his wife, a singer, purchased Ingress Abbey and have made great improvements in restoring the house to its nineteenth century condition. When I was in the Abbey with classmates and not giving a damn about threats of expulsion, the place was such a mess that I turned back after banging my head a few times in the near dark. The others ventured further to what could be called a 'ballroom' actually simply a very large lounge on the first floor with moldings on the wall, or in 1987: no floor and mould on the moldings.
A couple of weeks ago I returned to Ingress to tell them about the college and what the place used to be like, about to fall down in parts. Ingress Abbey is now impressive, there is a memorial to the naval college & the squadron, however it focuses on the Worcester and not the other ships or the earlier ship that was part of the college that fought at the Battle of the Nile as demonstrated by the college's Roll of Honour.
King Lear, and another Shakespeare via Hollywood
So [yes, it breaks grammatical rules but it sounds nice] I and people I work with filmed a few scenes/trailer shoot for the King Lear that was meant to be a small adaptation some years ago when I still lived and acted on the London stage but when I returned to it, beyond a sketch in late 2016, rapidly morphed into more me and less Shakespeare, albeit he's still in the script.
After filming in Bristol the film went on hold as it became a much bigger project. Owning all the equipment I am able to make feature films cheaply (as f.f. go) but unexpectedly people like my writing and that led to Industry interest which resulted in larger budgets.
Another factor was collapsing twice out cold while filming because of Bernadette's murder; the condition aggravated by endless police failure and lies, and that I am a ticking time bomb; not my opinion, the assessment of the professionals.
In the summer I was approached to direct a Hollywood scripted version of another Shakespeare play. Hollywood! At this stage its a series of shoots of just scenes until next year.
After filming in Bristol the film went on hold as it became a much bigger project. Owning all the equipment I am able to make feature films cheaply (as f.f. go) but unexpectedly people like my writing and that led to Industry interest which resulted in larger budgets.
Another factor was collapsing twice out cold while filming because of Bernadette's murder; the condition aggravated by endless police failure and lies, and that I am a ticking time bomb; not my opinion, the assessment of the professionals.
In the summer I was approached to direct a Hollywood scripted version of another Shakespeare play. Hollywood! At this stage its a series of shoots of just scenes until next year.
Friday, 5 January 2018
JOHN WORBOYS TO BE RELEASED
The horrific and mystifying news that the taxi driver who inflicted upon well over a hundred women: drugged, assaulted and raped will be released has been met with righteous condemnation, questions and demands by Yvette Cooper MP and others that the Parole Board's report be released.
There have been solicitors appearing on TV defending the release stating that Worboys has served his sentence for the crimes he was convicted for and was eligible for release 2 years ago.
His conviction was for:
One count of rape, five sexual assaults, one attempted assault and 12 drugging charges.
There were many other victims plus there are the victims who did not come forward. There are many legitimate reasons why victims do not go to the police:
they do want to relive the Hell by going through the court case which could last more than a year from when they give a statement to the police.
That they have had prior experience of the police either ignoring them or feigning concern and then doing nothing more. Again this is a traumatic experience that those who have not been through it are unlikely to comprehend.
They do not want it to become publically known that they suffered this or to upset their family if they have good relations with their family.
The Parole Board and any review of the sentencing appear not to have taken this into consideration:
the conviction for rape should have carried a far longer sentence. Also the drugging of women makes it clear that he intended many more rapes. The intent was NOT taken into account in the sentencing as the sentencing would have been a life sentence; not necessarily a full life tariff as those are challenged in the Court of Appeal.
It is reported that in addition to the 12 drugging charges there are many more victims between 100-200. This comes from reliable lawyers who worked on the conviction of Worboys and have seen the documents which have not been made public.
Another factor for why Worboys should remain for many more years,+30 years in prison or the rest of his life:
Victims of rape or violence can be scarred for years or life, while he will get freedom, they will still suffer what he did. The solicitor Harriet Wistrich rightly stated that victims were still living with what happened to them. 10 or more years on.
A friend of mine who was sexually abused as a child, fought for years the psychological trauma which periodically engulfed her in the worst depression. Despite close & loving relationship with close friends,her brother and boyfriend and being very excited to be working with me on a stage play about Poland, she was Polish,she was plunged into yet another darkness which brought her to suicide. A close relative who should have cared turned out to be somewhat indifferent to what had happened to her and that exacerbated the pain of what a man had done to her years beforehand.
It was only in the last few years that the abuse of some of my relatives by their father became known to me and a couple of other relatives. Some of those children, now adults +40 years are still psychologically traumatised,. One cousin was in the process of drinking herself to death because of the trauma. Their mother knew and did nothing.
We only found out when the police asked a couple of questions about underage sex far more recently. The police did nothing. The MET police of South London ignored it.
When I was informed I solicited murder- twice. He shortly after died of cancer but did not suffer in way approaching to what he had done to his children. I only withhold his name for the privacy of his children.
Rape and violent assaults are not crimes that exist only in the moment. For the victims it means years and often a lifetime of psychological suffering.
This is what Worboys has done to these women. He should remain in gaol.
STATEMENTS BY CPS:
19 more cases were not prosecuted as CPS said:
"It was not in the public interest."
A victim was told he would never be released since:
"He would remain a danger to women"
That the police did not pursue 102 more allegations has been evaded by the CPS
The horrific and mystifying news that the taxi driver who inflicted upon well over a hundred women: drugged, assaulted and raped will be released has been met with righteous condemnation, questions and demands by Yvette Cooper MP and others that the Parole Board's report be released.
There have been solicitors appearing on TV defending the release stating that Worboys has served his sentence for the crimes he was convicted for and was eligible for release 2 years ago.
His conviction was for:
One count of rape, five sexual assaults, one attempted assault and 12 drugging charges.
There were many other victims plus there are the victims who did not come forward. There are many legitimate reasons why victims do not go to the police:
they do want to relive the Hell by going through the court case which could last more than a year from when they give a statement to the police.
That they have had prior experience of the police either ignoring them or feigning concern and then doing nothing more. Again this is a traumatic experience that those who have not been through it are unlikely to comprehend.
They do not want it to become publically known that they suffered this or to upset their family if they have good relations with their family.
The Parole Board and any review of the sentencing appear not to have taken this into consideration:
the conviction for rape should have carried a far longer sentence. Also the drugging of women makes it clear that he intended many more rapes. The intent was NOT taken into account in the sentencing as the sentencing would have been a life sentence; not necessarily a full life tariff as those are challenged in the Court of Appeal.
It is reported that in addition to the 12 drugging charges there are many more victims between 100-200. This comes from reliable lawyers who worked on the conviction of Worboys and have seen the documents which have not been made public.
Another factor for why Worboys should remain for many more years,+30 years in prison or the rest of his life:
Victims of rape or violence can be scarred for years or life, while he will get freedom, they will still suffer what he did. The solicitor Harriet Wistrich rightly stated that victims were still living with what happened to them. 10 or more years on.
A friend of mine who was sexually abused as a child, fought for years the psychological trauma which periodically engulfed her in the worst depression. Despite close & loving relationship with close friends,her brother and boyfriend and being very excited to be working with me on a stage play about Poland, she was Polish,she was plunged into yet another darkness which brought her to suicide. A close relative who should have cared turned out to be somewhat indifferent to what had happened to her and that exacerbated the pain of what a man had done to her years beforehand.
It was only in the last few years that the abuse of some of my relatives by their father became known to me and a couple of other relatives. Some of those children, now adults +40 years are still psychologically traumatised,. One cousin was in the process of drinking herself to death because of the trauma. Their mother knew and did nothing.
We only found out when the police asked a couple of questions about underage sex far more recently. The police did nothing. The MET police of South London ignored it.
When I was informed I solicited murder- twice. He shortly after died of cancer but did not suffer in way approaching to what he had done to his children. I only withhold his name for the privacy of his children.
Rape and violent assaults are not crimes that exist only in the moment. For the victims it means years and often a lifetime of psychological suffering.
This is what Worboys has done to these women. He should remain in gaol.
STATEMENTS BY CPS:
19 more cases were not prosecuted as CPS said:
"It was not in the public interest."
A victim was told he would never be released since:
"He would remain a danger to women"
That the police did not pursue 102 more allegations has been evaded by the CPS
Sunday, 15 October 2017
Actor Michael Coughlin dies
This month an actor I have worked with Michael Coughlin died. His death is mourned by all who knew or acted with him. I was the lighting designer & director of the film recording of the Writer and director Jonathan Kaufman's 'Sherlock Holmes and the Werewolf' in which Michael played Dr. Watson. Here is the interview I recorded with him from the DVD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNfBbHrQDz4&feature=youtu.be
Part 2-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjaQxmqVqgk
Details of St Joseph's Convent at-
https://www.facebook.com/groups/stjosephsconventsidcup/?ref=br_rs
A few stills from the test shoot for the feature film KING LEAR at-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT6hVGMh4YI
Wuthering Heights trailer from April 2017-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaS_-rBoWjg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNfBbHrQDz4&feature=youtu.be
Part 2-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjaQxmqVqgk
Details of St Joseph's Convent at-
https://www.facebook.com/groups/stjosephsconventsidcup/?ref=br_rs
A few stills from the test shoot for the feature film KING LEAR at-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT6hVGMh4YI
Wuthering Heights trailer from April 2017-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaS_-rBoWjg
Me in an all girl class
(This post is taken from a longer ones on St Joseph's). Current film work:As cinematographer on Wuthering Heights, movie is just about completed. Director,writer & Duke of Cornwall in King Lear: filming to resume. Director,writer and actor in Memoria Draco: filming in 2018. The Facebook group for St Joseph's including film from 1968-1972 at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/stjosephsconventsidcup/
It is the 1970s again & my Catholic school St Joseph's Convent ( which was also a convent) again!
In 1979 we were all in the second year of Mrs Lyons , we were met by our teacher with her fashion styling that Margaret Thatcher appeared to later have purloined from her & our headmistress the fearsome Sister Theresa.
There was nothing aggressive about Sister Theresa, but we knew she carried a cane & she was an imposing presence. We didn't know how much the boys in her class & 50 years earlier the girls she taught loved her as she made sure all them received the best education, and that she remembered just about all of them.
The purpose of our teachers blocking our progress to our classroom, is that we didn't have a classroom. The water tank had burst overnight & drenched our Victorian wooden desks.
So we were to be assigned to other classes. The problem was the class was to be sent to lower years and the teachers would have to teach two classes in the same period. The 24 of us were divided off into the lower age group of back to Mrs Lonsdale, the girls class of Mrs Taylor & the kindergarten class presided over by Sister Antionette & someone else.
The least academic & most unruly boys were sent to the 4 year old class. Their outspokenness was immediately replaced by embarrassment when they were surrounded by kids less than half their age.
So everyone is sorted out
Except me!
For me, Sister Theresa looked through her spectacles & told me to go to my age group, the all girl class of Mrs Cullen. "You're friends with some of the girls & you learn" or similar words my old nun said. The boys and girls were in separate classes from Form II onwards.
She was right I was friends with some of the girls who had come to my birthday parties, and since the age of 5 I had adored a girl of the same age named Nina.
Mrs Cullen was a scary figure. Over 60, her hands resting on a walking stick and afflicted with rheumatism, the only contact boys had with her was her booming voice "What are doing?!" and variations thereafter.
"Sister Theresa told me to come here", I said to the aged teacher shrouded in a heavy brown cardigan at her desk in the bottom left of her classroom by the window. My trepidation towards Mrs Cullen, given every strident outburst I had seen, was replaced by surprise as it transpired that Cullen was a patient, skilled and calm teacher. She had a similar style to our headmistress Sister Theresa.
For at least 6 weeks we remained in our allotted places. None of my classmates in our formerly all boy 9 year old class were pleased sharing a class with pupils aged 4 to 7.
Whereas I was very, very happy and I had one of the finest teachers I have ever known.
In fact it was the best time in any of my education only my time in chemistry labs (will this experiment blow up), my acting course at Goldsmiths or some things on my physics & electronics course and my time in film making /broadcasting at Ravensbourne were similar. Of my naval college, driving motor boats or staring at radar screens was about the most fun there.
Finally we all regathered in our classroom on the first floor of the boys block. Back to Mrs Lyons obsession in finding any excuse to slap young boys, What was more offensive was her middle class affectations & trying to brain wash us into the 'respectability' of working in a bank!
This experience would be of interest to social psychologists or sociologists as being the only boy in a class of 24 girls is very rare, or just about unheard of!
Details of St Joseph's Convent at-
https://www.facebook.com/groups/stjosephsconventsidcup/?ref=br_rs
A few stills from the test shoot for the feature film KING LEAR at-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT6hVGMh4YI
Part of the interview with the actor the late Michael Coughlin from a film recording I directed of the director Jonathan Kaufman's play -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNfBbHrQDz4&t=126s
Wuthering Heights trailer from April 2017-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaS_-rBoWjg
I was the only boy in an all girl class & loved it - this originally appeared on the main blog pages
It is the 1970s again & my Catholic school St Joseph's Convent ( which was also a convent) again!
In 1979 we were all in the second year of Mrs Lyons , we were met by our teacher with her fashion styling that Margaret Thatcher appeared to later have purloined from her & our headmistress the fearsome Sister Theresa.
There was nothing aggressive about Sister Theresa, but we knew she carried a cane & she was an imposing presence. We didn't know how much the boys in her class & 50 years earlier the girls she taught loved her as she made sure all them received the best education, and that she remembered just about all of them.
The purpose of our teachers blocking our progress to our classroom, is that we didn't have a classroom. The water tank had burst overnight & drenched our Victorian wooden desks.
So we were to be assigned to other classes. The problem was the class was to be sent to lower years and the teachers would have to teach two classes in the same period. The 24 of us were divided off into the lower age group of back to Mrs Lonsdale, the girls class of Mrs Taylor & the kindergarten class presided over by Sister Antionette & someone else.
The least academic & most unruly boys were sent to the 4 year old class. Their outspokenness was immediately replaced by embarrassment when they were surrounded by kids less than half their age.
So everyone is sorted out
Except me!
For me, Sister Theresa looked through her spectacles & told me to go to my age group, the all girl class of Mrs Cullen. "You're friends with some of the girls & you learn" or similar words my old nun said. The boys and girls were in separate classes from Form II onwards.
She was right I was friends with some of the girls who had come to my birthday parties, and since the age of 5 I had adored a girl of the same age named Nina.
Mrs Cullen was a scary figure. Over 60, her hands resting on a walking stick and afflicted with rheumatism, the only contact boys had with her was her booming voice "What are doing?!" and variations thereafter.
"Sister Theresa told me to come here", I said to the aged teacher shrouded in a heavy brown cardigan at her desk in the bottom left of her classroom by the window. My trepidation towards Mrs Cullen, given every strident outburst I had seen, was replaced by surprise as it transpired that Cullen was a patient, skilled and calm teacher. She had a similar style to our headmistress Sister Theresa.
For at least 6 weeks we remained in our allotted places. None of my classmates in our formerly all boy 9 year old class were pleased sharing a class with pupils aged 4 to 7.
Whereas I was very, very happy and I had one of the finest teachers I have ever known.
In fact it was the best time in any of my education only my time in chemistry labs (will this experiment blow up), my acting course at Goldsmiths or some things on my physics & electronics course and my time in film making /broadcasting at Ravensbourne were similar. Of my naval college, driving motor boats or staring at radar screens was about the most fun there.
Finally we all regathered in our classroom on the first floor of the boys block. Back to Mrs Lyons obsession in finding any excuse to slap young boys, What was more offensive was her middle class affectations & trying to brain wash us into the 'respectability' of working in a bank!
This experience would be of interest to social psychologists or sociologists as being the only boy in a class of 24 girls is very rare, or just about unheard of!
Details of St Joseph's Convent at-
https://www.facebook.com/groups/stjosephsconventsidcup/?ref=br_rs
A few stills from the test shoot for the feature film KING LEAR at-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT6hVGMh4YI
Part of the interview with the actor the late Michael Coughlin from a film recording I directed of the director Jonathan Kaufman's play -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNfBbHrQDz4&t=126s
Wuthering Heights trailer from April 2017-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaS_-rBoWjg
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